Travels in The Wilderness

I seem to have very little control over my art at the moment. I can't direct it, it just seems to go where it wants to go. I've given up trying to please myself or other people, just gonna "go with the flow" since it's not possible to go anywhere else anyway. So I'm calling this period "the wilderness period" don't know where its leading, but just have to keep going till you out...(which may not happen :-)
I guess my art is reflecting my life, i'm going through a period of introspection, where I just want to find myself. I can't please anyone, not even myself in this process, it's about finding what's authentic, who is authentic, why am I here kind of thing??

I'm dropping all the dreams, ideas, and borrowed concepts of who I am and asking who...really am I? why am I here?? it's a spiritual quest into the nature of self.. I may have to go right back to basics, and do very primitive, primal art. Give up trying to create beauty or even art in the eyes of others, stop seeking approval or recognition and just paint purely for the journey it takes me on. I can't do it for anyone else anymore, it has to go deeper now, and risk being rejected. it doesnt matter, it's not about pretty or perfect or anything, even cute original or appealing.

I want to explore a relationship with paint that has no agenda, no goal, no objective except to face what comes up in the process. I feel the need for a long explorative phase with paint where the process is more important than the finished picture & I want to post what happens here. From now on, it's about trusting my inner guide to get me through the wilderness, enriched and inspired.